Youth Archives - Heather Hayes & Associates https://heatherhayes.com/category/youth/ Interventions & Treatment Consulting Fri, 13 Feb 2026 06:04:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://heatherhayes.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/cropped-HH_logo-32x32.png Youth Archives - Heather Hayes & Associates https://heatherhayes.com/category/youth/ 32 32 What’s Actually Happening When Some People Appear “Resistant” to Treatment https://heatherhayes.com/whats-actually-happening-when-some-people-appear-resistant-to-treatment/ Fri, 20 Feb 2026 18:00:00 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7294 When a loved one seems to fight every suggestion, skip appointments, or sabotage their own progress, it is easy to feel hopeless. Clinicians may label it non‑compliance, and families may call it denial, stubbornness, or lack of willpower, but what looks like resistance from the outside is almost always a complex, protective response on the […]

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]]> 10 Specific Behaviors You Develop After a Damaging Childhood https://heatherhayes.com/10-specific-behaviors-you-develop-after-a-damaging-childhood/ Wed, 11 Feb 2026 11:03:32 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7287 In our work, we meet adults who are capable, thoughtful, and, on the surface, managing well. They may be parents or professionals, or they may come because relationships feel more difficult than they should. Others arrive when anxiety, disconnection, or exhaustion has reached a point that can no longer be ignored. Many do not describe […]

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]]> Realistic Expectations in an Unrealistic World https://heatherhayes.com/realistic-expectations-in-an-unrealistic-world/ Fri, 30 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7268 How do families, schools, and young people keep their footing amid filters, fame, and AI? If you scroll for sixty seconds, you’ll see poreless faces, bodies trimmed by software, bedrooms staged by design apps, and perfect routines packaged for purchase. The mirror has moved from the bathroom to the feed, where it talks back in […]

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]]> Breaking the Legacy of Damaging Childhoods: A Trauma-Responsive Exploration of Jerry Wise’s “Inherited Behaviors” https://heatherhayes.com/breaking-the-legacy-of-damaging-childhoods-a-trauma-responsive-exploration-of-jerry-wises-inherited-behaviors/ Wed, 07 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7246 When we grow up in families where emotional neglect, chaos, enmeshment, addiction, or inconsistency shape the air we breathe, we learn quickly how to survive. Jerry Wise, a well-known family systems expert, often teaches that many of our adult struggles stem not from personal failings but from adaptive behaviors we developed in childhood, behaviors that […]

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]]> Transactional Analysis in the DNA of Modern Therapies https://heatherhayes.com/transactional-analysis-in-the-dna-of-modern-therapies/ Wed, 24 Dec 2025 13:21:07 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7215 How Parent–Adult–Child quietly shaped CBT, parts work, trauma therapy, and inner-child healing. When you zoom out on today’s therapy landscape – CBT, DBT, schema therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), ego-state work, EMDR, inner-child work, a pattern appears. Over and over again, clinicians are: That’s exactly what Transactional Analysis (TA) was doing in the 1950s and […]

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]]> Transactional Analysis: The “Forgotten” Theory That Still Changes How We Relate https://heatherhayes.com/transactional-analysis-the-forgotten-theory-that-still-changes-how-we-relate/ Wed, 17 Dec 2025 15:45:08 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7208 (and how we can gently re-parent ourselves from the Adult ego state) During parts of the 1960s and 70s, Transactional Analysis (TA) was everywhere: therapy rooms, boardrooms, classrooms, even dinner-party conversations. Eric Berne’s simple but profound ideas about Parent–Adult–Child ego states, games people play, and “I’m OK–You’re OK” language gave people a shared map for […]

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]]> TikTok Bans #SkinnyTok: A Step Toward Protecting Mental Health or Just a Patch? https://heatherhayes.com/tiktok-bans-skinnytok-a-step-toward-protecting-mental-health-or-just-a-patch/ Wed, 12 Nov 2025 13:46:37 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7169 In a move lauded by public health experts and mental health advocates alike, TikTok recently banned the hashtag #SkinnyTok, along with related content promoting extreme thinness and disordered eating. While this step reflects growing platform accountability, specialists warn it may not be enough to curb the deeper social and algorithmic drivers of eating disorders among […]

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]]> Parental Alienation: A Relational Wound at the Heart of the Family https://heatherhayes.com/parental-alienation-a-relational-wound-at-the-heart-of-the-family/ Wed, 29 Oct 2025 17:00:00 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7132 Parental alienation is a complex and often misunderstood dynamic in which one parent intentionally or unconsciously manipulates a child to reject the other parent, undermining the child’s attachment and loyalty to that parent. This behavior is most often seen in high-conflict separations or divorces but can occur in any family system where resentment, control, or […]

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]]> Understanding the Polyvagal Theory in Adolescence: A Foundation for Trauma-Responsive Adolescent Transport https://heatherhayes.com/understanding-the-polyvagal-theory-in-adolescence-a-foundation-for-trauma-responsive-adolescent-transport/ Wed, 22 Oct 2025 17:00:00 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7130 In recent years, Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory has revolutionized our understanding of the nervous system, particularly in the context of trauma and adolescent development. The theory provides a crucial framework for professionals working with adolescents, especially those involved in therapeutic transport.  One of the most compassionate and trauma-informed approaches to adolescent transport comes from Heather […]

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]]> Building Family Connection and Secure Attachment: Foundations, Disruptions, and Tools for Healing https://heatherhayes.com/building-family-connection-and-secure-attachment-foundations-disruptions-and-tools-for-healing/ Wed, 24 Sep 2025 07:00:53 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7100 Healthy families are built on two fundamental pillars: connection and attachment. When these are strong, family members feel safe, seen, and valued, which fosters emotional resilience, trust, and overall well-being. When disrupted, however, individuals can struggle with lifelong emotional regulation, relational difficulties, and mental health challenges. Below, we explore the foundations of family connection and […]

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]]> The Importance of Safety in Healing Family Dynamics: Insights from Judith Herman and Steven Porges https://heatherhayes.com/the-importance-of-safety-in-healing-family-dynamics-insights-from-judith-herman-and-steven-porges/ Wed, 17 Sep 2025 07:00:33 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7091 Safety is a fundamental prerequisite for healing within any family system, particularly for members who have experienced emotional abuse. The pioneering work of Judith Herman and Steven Porges highlights the critical role of safety in the recovery process. Their essay explores the importance of safety, drawing on Herman’s work on trauma and recovery and Porges’ […]

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]]> Incongruence in Family Systems: Exploring Covert Contracts and Adolescent Development https://heatherhayes.com/incongruence-in-family-systems-exploring-covert-contracts-and-adolescent-development/ Wed, 16 Jul 2025 07:00:18 +0000 https://heatherhayes.com/?p=7035 Family systems theory, a cornerstone of systemic family therapy, emphasizes the interconnectedness of family members and the impact of these relationships on individual behavior and development. Pioneers like Jay Haley and Salvador Minuchin have profoundly influenced our understanding of these dynamics, particularly how unspoken rules, or covert family contracts, shape interactions within families. One critical […]

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