In the past few years, especially at conferences, trainings, and even in airport lounges, people have approached me with the same request: “Can I pick your brain about becoming an interventionist?”
I understand the longing. This field is complicated, demanding, and deeply meaningful. People want guidance, direction, and a key to understanding the path. I wholeheartedly believe that, at its heart, mentorship is the cornerstone of professional growth.
But here’s the truth few people say out loud:
“Can I pick your brain?” often overlooks the labor, time, emotional energy, and decades of experience someone has invested into the profession. Without meaning to, it can also feel invasive and reductive, like asking for the distilled wisdom of an entire career in a quick hallway chat.
Mentorship matters, but it isn’t a shortcut or substitute for acquired wisdom through experience. Real learning requires work, presence, and humility.
This blog explores what mentorship actually looks like, how professionals can learn with integrity, and why showing up, for talks, trainings, and the material already offered, is itself a powerful act of respect and self-development.
Mentorship isn’t “Brain-Picking”—It’s a Relationship
The research is clear: mentorship is most effective when it is reciprocal, intentional, sustained, and embedded in a learning relationship (Eby et al., 2013; Crisp & Cruz, 2009). A drive-by “pick your brain” moment does not meet any of these criteria.
According to Allen and Eby (2007), meaningful mentorship requires:
- Clear boundaries
- Mutual commitment
- A framework for learning
- Respect for the mentor’s time and expertise
When someone asks for a seasoned professional’s distilled wisdom quickly and without compensation, it unintentionally bypasses the structure that makes mentorship valuable.
Formal Education Still Matters
I say this often because it is true and cannot be bypassed or outsourced. If you want to become an interventionist, or any helping professional, start with formal training.
Graduate school provides:
- Critical thinking frameworks
- Ethics
- Clinical skills
- Supervision
- Exposure to diverse populations and models
- Professional identity formation
The evidence supports this. Professional preparation programs significantly predict competence, ethical reasoning, and long-term career satisfaction (Tracey et al., 2012; Hill & Lent, 2006). Mentorship does not replace education. It builds on it.
Mentorship Can Take Many Forms—And Not All Require Direct Access
This is the part most people miss.
I mentor constantly, but much of that mentorship happens through:
- The blogs I write
- The talks and lectures I give
- The frameworks and protocols I publish
- The conferences where I present
- The panels where I share practice-based wisdom
- The trauma-responsive models I develop (like the Respectful Adolescent Transport Protocol)
These are not side tasks. They are acts of service that require hours of research, writing, refining, and distilling decades of experience into accessible, public learning.
When I publish a blog, I am putting my “brain” out there. When I present, I am teaching. When I write, I am mentoring. Reading what a mentor writes is one of the most underutilized forms of professional development (Smith, 2020).
Showing Up Is an Act of Respect
At a recent conference, I noticed that the hallways and coffee bars were full, whereas the lecture rooms had many empty seats.
And yet, people kept telling me they wanted mentorship.
You cannot grow if you don’t show up.
Research on professional identity formation shows that engagement in community learning spaces, including lectures, workshops, and seminars, is one of the most powerful predictors of early-career success (Duffy et al., 2011).
Presence and attention matter. If someone is offering their expertise publicly, and you really want to learn from them, your most important task is simple: be in the room. Mentorship does not always happen one-to-one. Often, your mentor is standing at a podium, giving you everything they can in that moment.
There Is No Quick Way—Only a Committed Way
In a culture conditioned for immediacy, we forget that mastery requires time and accrued experience that cannot be sidestepped.
Becoming a trauma-responsive interventionist requires:
- Education
- Training
- Supervision
- Personal therapy
- Exposure
- Deep humility
- Ethical grounding
- Ongoing learning
- Self-reflection
- Professional community
- Showing up again and again
Ericsson’s seminal research on expert performance emphasizes deliberate practice over time, not shortcuts or passive absorption (Ericsson et al., 1993). Nobody becomes great by osmosis, and you can only excel by doing the work.
How to Seek Mentorship Without Burden
Here are respectful, effective alternatives to “Can I pick your brain?”:
- “I read your recent blog/talk/paper and had two questions about…” Shows effort, engagement, and respect.
- “Do you offer structured mentorship, supervision, or consultation?” Acknowledges that expertise has value and a willingness to compensate it.
- “Is there a training you recommend I begin with?” Shows willingness to invest.
- “I’d love to attend your next workshop—where can I sign up?” Recognizes public teaching as a primary mentorship pathway.
- “Can I compensate you for consultation?” Honors time, labor, and expertise.
Good mentors want to help, but the mentee must demonstrate commitment and readiness.
Mentorship Begins with what’s Already Been Given
If you want to learn from someone, start with the material they have already poured their heart into.
My writing, my talks, my protocols are not just content. They are open doors and reflect hours of my time.
When someone says they want mentorship but hasn’t read what I’ve shared publicly, they are not seeking growth; they are seeking convenience that benefits only them, and convenience never produces competence.
If You Want the Path, Walk It
Mentorship is sacred. Expertise is earned. Learning is active.
The greatest gift a learner can give a mentor is not flattery or proximity; it is effort.
Read the blogs. Show up at the talks. Engage with the materials. Invest in training. Ask thoughtful questions. Do the work.
A career in trauma, addiction, intervention, and system-level care requires depth, humility, and integrity. There is no fast track, but there is a meaningful track, which begins with showing up.
Sources:
Allen, T. D., & Eby, L. T. (Eds.). (2007). The Blackwell Handbook of Mentoring: A Multiple Perspectives Approach. Blackwell Publishing.
Crisp, G., & Cruz, I. (2009). Mentoring college students: A critical review of the literature between 1990 and 2007. Research in Higher Education, 50, 525–545.
Duffy, R. D., Allan, B. A., & Dik, B. J. (2011). The presence of a career calling and academic satisfaction: A longitudinal study. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 79(1), 1–10.
Eby, L. T., Allen, T. D., Evans, S. C., Ng, T., & DuBois, D. L. (2013). Does mentoring matter? A multidisciplinary meta-analysis comparing mentored and non-mentored individuals. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 83(1), 106–116.
Ericsson, K. A., Krampe, R. T., & Tesch-Römer, C. (1993). The role of deliberate practice in the acquisition of expert performance. Psychological Review, 100(3), 363–406.
Hill, C. E., & Lent, R. W. (2006). A narrative and meta-analysis of helping skills training outcomes. The Counseling Psychologist, 34(3), 299–332.
Smith, L. (2020). Rethinking mentorship in the digital age: The role of online thought leadership in professional identity formation. Journal of Professional Learning, 12(4), 15–27.
Tracey, T. J. G., Wampold, B. E., Lichtenberg, J. W., & Goodyear, R. K. (2012). Expertise in psychotherapy: An elusive goal? American Psychologist, 67(3), 223–230.
