How we perceive ourselves is fundamental to our overall well-being. Self-worth, self-confidence, and a desire for achievement all stem from self-perception. Unfortunately, this means that a negative self-perception can influence countless factors in our lives, from personal relationships to career paths to overall health and well-being.

Studies have shown that those who have experienced childhood trauma are much more likely to develop a negative self-perception than those who have not. Many of us who are living with past trauma still find it challenging to see ourselves in a positive light: doubts, anxieties, and shame creep in to negatively color our self-image. But what does this mean for those who are struggling with trauma? Is it possible to develop a positive self-perception in the wake of childhood trauma?

Developing a positive self-perception is entirely possible, even if you are living with childhood trauma. Below, I will explore how childhood trauma can negatively affect self-perception and share a few key strategies for reshaping your relationship with yourself. Doing this work isn’t easy, but you owe it to yourself to create a more positive future.

Childhood Trauma and Its Effects

Many studies have demonstrated the relationship between childhood trauma and adult experiences. Childhood trauma has been linked to anxiety disorders[1] as well as to other mental health conditions and overall well-being.[2] Childhood trauma has also been shown to negatively affect resiliency well into adulthood.[3] Studies have even shown that childhood trauma has biological effects on the body, including cellular, cognitive, and brain development.[4]

One of the most significant effects of childhood trauma, however, is what researchers Cheyenne Downey and Aoife Crumme refer to as the “false self-image.” This involves constructing a false sense of self in order to cope with reality. This false self often entails the removal of feelings of self-worth and confidence, especially if the trauma is experienced as a result of parent neglect or abuse. In order to feel safe, the child creates a proxy self to experience the neglect or abuse. The distance between these selves becomes unmanageable, which leads to feelings of shame and intense self-criticism. It is, therefore, extremely common for those who have experienced childhood trauma to also experience low self-esteem and a low concept of self overall.[5]

Building a Positive Sense of Self

For those who have been unable to develop a healthy and positive sense of self due to the effects of childhood trauma, it is hard to know where to start when challenging feelings of worthlessness or addressing a lack of self-confidence. However, according to research, two of the most important factors are self-compassion and emotional regulation.[6]

Self-compassion

Self-compassion means having compassion for yourself. This is difficult for those who had to develop a false self in order to cope with abuse or neglect from a parent or with any other type of childhood trauma at an early age. The shame attached to this false self becomes so ingrained that compassion is no longer an option, even long after the traumatic situation has ended. 

To practice self-compassion, you can work toward three simple tasks: being mindful, conceptualizing a common humanity, and being kind to yourself in large and small ways. Being mindful simply means taking the time to appreciate your external and internal environments and paying close attention to what each is doing for you. Conceptualizing a common humanity means thinking of yourself as part of the broader human community. Together we share many of the experiences that make us human, and one of the best ways to reconnect with the self is to reconnect with others. Finally, being kind to yourself is as straightforward as it sounds. Though it isn’t easy, being kind to yourself in small ways each day can lead to the slow development of self-compassion over time.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation refers to processes that influence your emotions, control when those emotions arise, and determine how those emotions are experienced and expressed. This is also difficult for those who have experienced childhood trauma because the skills required to practice emotional regulation are ideally developed in supportive early childhood relationships and interactions.

Healthy strategies for emotional regulation include talking through feelings, journaling about them, and understanding when a break from others is needed to process intense feelings safely and healthily. One of the more important and often underrated emotional regulation practices is developing and maintaining a healthy sleep schedule. This can be especially difficult for those with childhood trauma because they often struggle with nightmares in adulthood. Of course, going to therapy is also a good way to develop emotional regulation skills under the guidance of a trained professional.

Negative self-perception is something many people struggle with, but it can feel like an inevitable reality for those who have experienced childhood trauma. In fact, developing positive self-perception – and the self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth that comes with it – is possible with patience, time, and the right tools. We at Heather R. Hayes and Associates can also provide support in the form of therapy, counseling, and support on your journey to well-being and positive self-perception. To learn more, visit our website.

Sources:

[1] Bagga, A., Barro, J., Kanow, S., Ratkovic, T., Sarper, N., Soni, R., & Walters, N. (2024). From Childhood to Adulthood: The Impacts of Trauma on Anxiety Disorders | OxJournal. Retrieved 19 December 2024, from https://www.oxjournal.org/from-childhood-to-adulthood-the-impacts-of-trauma-on-anxiety-disorders/

[2] Li, C., Fu, P., Wang, M. et al. The role of self-esteem and emotion regulation in the associations between childhood trauma and mental health in adulthood: a moderated mediation model. BMC Psychiatry 23, 241 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04719-7

[3] Brown, A.D. (2008) The effects of childhood trauma on adult perception and worldview. ProQuest. 

[4] De Bellis, M. D., & Zisk, A. (2014). The biological effects of childhood trauma. Child and adolescent psychiatric clinics of North America, 23(2), 185–vii. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2014.01.002

[5] Cheyenne Downey, Aoife Crummy, (2022) The impact of childhood trauma on children’s wellbeing and adult behavior, European Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, Volume 6, Issue 1, ISSN 2468-7499, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejtd.2021.10023.

[6] Arielle et al. (2015) Self-compassion and responses to trauma: The role of emotion regulation. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. 1-21.