Incongruence in Family Systems: Exploring Covert Contracts and Adolescent Development

Family systems theory, a cornerstone of systemic family therapy, emphasizes the interconnectedness of family members and the impact of these relationships on individual behavior and development. Pioneers like Jay Haley and Salvador Minuchin have profoundly influenced our understanding of these dynamics, particularly how unspoken rules, or covert family contracts, shape interactions within families. One critical area where these dynamics become apparent is during adolescent development, a period marked by significant physical, emotional, and cognitive changes. Below, we explore the concept of incongruence between overt behaviors and covert family contracts, focusing on how these inconsistencies can create dissonance and themes of injustice that impact adolescent development.

Incongruence in Family Systems

In family systems, incongruence refers to a mismatch between what is outwardly expressed (overt behaviors) and what is expected or understood internally within the family (covert contracts). Covert contracts are the unspoken agreements that govern family interactions, often without the conscious awareness of those involved. These contracts might include expectations about roles, responsibilities, communication styles, and emotional expression.

For example, in a family where the unspoken rule is that “children should not challenge their parents,” an adolescent who begins to assert independence by questioning parental authority may be met with confusion or hostility. The overt behavior of the adolescent (asserting independence) is incongruent with the covert contract (unquestioned parental authority), leading to dissonance within the family system.

Jay Haley, a prominent figure in strategic family therapy, often highlighted the power struggles that arise from such incongruences. In his work, Haley emphasized that these struggles are not merely about the specific issues at hand but are symbolic of deeper, unspoken agreements within the family. For instance, an adolescent’s refusal to follow curfew might not just be about staying out late but could symbolize a challenge to the family’s covert contract regarding autonomy and control. Haley would argue that understanding and addressing the underlying contract is key to resolving the overt conflict.

Themes of Injustice in Adolescent Development

Adolescence is a critical developmental stage characterized by the pursuit of autonomy, identity formation, and increased peer influence. During this period, adolescents often push against family boundaries and question existing family rules. When there is a significant incongruence between an adolescent’s developmental needs and the family’s covert contracts, feelings of injustice can arise.

Salvador Minuchin, a key figure in structural family therapy, explored how family structures— the organization of relationships within the family—can either support or hinder adolescent development. Minuchin’s concept of family subsystems (e.g., parent-child, sibling) and boundaries (the rules governing these subsystems) is particularly relevant here. In families where boundaries are too rigid or too diffuse, adolescents may experience these structures as unjust or constraining.

For example, in a family with rigid boundaries, where parents tightly control the adolescent’s activities, the covert contract may be “parents always know best.” However, as the adolescent seeks independence, this rigid structure can feel unjust, leading to conflict and dissonance. The adolescent may feel that their developmental need for autonomy is being unfairly suppressed, which can manifest as rebellious behavior, withdrawal, or even mental health issues like anxiety or depression.

Minuchin would advocate for restructuring the family system to create more flexible boundaries that allow for the adolescent’s growing need for independence while still maintaining a sense of security and support within the family. This might involve renegotiating roles and responsibilities within the family, creating space for the adolescent to express their individuality, and addressing the covert contracts that are no longer serving the family’s developmental needs.

The Role of Systemic Family Therapy

Systemic family therapists aim to uncover and address these incongruences and themes of injustice by bringing covert contracts into the open and facilitating communication among family members. This process often involves helping family members recognize and articulate the unspoken rules that guide their interactions and then working together to create new agreements that better align with the current developmental stage of the family.

For example, a systemic therapist working with a family experiencing conflict around an adolescent’s curfew might explore the underlying beliefs and expectations that each family member holds. The parents might reveal that their insistence on a strict curfew is driven by fears for their child’s safety, rooted in their own experiences or cultural beliefs. The adolescent, on the other hand, might express that the curfew feels arbitrary and unfair, limiting their ability to spend time with friends and develop social independence. Through therapy, the family might negotiate a new curfew agreement that considers both the parents’ need for safety and the adolescent’s need for autonomy, thereby reducing the dissonance and feelings of injustice.

In this context, the works of both Haley and Minuchin provide valuable frameworks for understanding and addressing these dynamics. Haley’s focus on power dynamics and Minuchin’s emphasis on family structure offer complementary approaches to helping families navigate the complex interplay between overt behaviors and covert contracts during adolescent development.

 Conclusion

The incongruence between overt behaviors and covert family contracts is a significant source of dissonance and perceived injustice within family systems, particularly during the challenging period of adolescent development. By understanding and addressing these incongruences, systemic family therapists can help families create more harmonious relationships and support the healthy development of adolescents. The works of Jay Haley and Salvador Minuchin offer crucial insights into these processes, providing tools for uncovering covert contracts and restructuring family systems to better meet the needs of all members. As families and therapists work together to navigate these challenges, they can foster environments where adolescents feel understood, supported, and empowered to grow into independent, healthy adults.

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